Stretch your wings
Things don’t always happen the way we expect them, but when we have a growing (or beginner’s) mindset, things may even turn out better than we’d hoped.
Have you ever looked at a baby when they learn to walk and they fall, why they aren’t upset? How it is that they don’t get depressed after they fall thinking that they aren’t good at anything? They get right up, filled with so much excitement and joy on their faces it’s hard to contain their emotion and they try again. They repeat this process until they are permanently better. Perfection is overrated in my opinion. Not one of us walks perfectly and who gets to decide what a perfect walk looks like anyway…?
When a curveball hits
Sometimes life throws a curveball in our direction, and we lose our balance and fall. Other times there is an obstacle on our route and we need to take a detour. Things don’t always happen the way we expect them to happen, but when we have a growing (or beginner’s) mindset, things may even turn out better than we’d hoped. Often, it's the roads less travelled which has the best scenery.
How can your obstacle serve you?
Nightbirde put it so eloquently when she said that even in the valley of the shadow of death there are good things to be found. The harder the climb, the better the view.
Your feelings are okay
When we are little, we are completely dependent on those who take care of us and love us. We surrender our problems in the hands of our very capable care takers. When we grow up, we need to learn to be responsible for certain tasks. Growing pains aren't much fun, I know. It hurts, but that’s often the consequence of growing.
When we mature, the growth we experience in our soul is not much fun either. It’s hard. Yes, we may feel anxious, depressed, hurt, lonely, overwhelmed, rejected, sad, scared and sometimes resentful. We're human. Some days may be hard to get out of bed or to face another day filled with so much insecurity or unbearable pain. Feel your emotions and embrace your vulnerability. See what your emotions are trying to tell you. It may be that boundaries were crossed or that we need to review our thinking styles. However it may be, when you feel, it means you are still alive.
When we build forts
Sometimes when we are wounded, we may build forts around us. Big ones. It makes sense, right? We don't want to get hurt again and we'll do anything to keep ourselves safe, but in this moment, we choose to survive rather than live. When we are in this place of survival, the parts of the brain responsible for rational thinking locks down, which means we don't reason logically anymore. This is the point where our thoughts take our minds captive.
We don't realise that these walls we built which was meant to keep out the bad and ugly, also kept out everything and everyone good in our lives. We begin to chew on our bad experiences and soon we see the world through the filter that the whole universe is against us. We isolate ourselves even more as our souls start dying and we may not even feel anything anymore. We choose to remain in our shelter even when the storm has passed.
Rest in the valley
Another perspective towards our pain, is to take time to rest and recover, to reflect on what worked and what didn't so we can become stronger and wiser for the next part of our trip. An injured bird needs to rest to be able to practice its wings.
During this process we need to find our centre. Use this time to learn more about yourself.
What are your values?
What do you like?
What do you dislike?
What are your dreams?
This world is so often a rat race from point a to b to z. Have you ever wondered whether this pain may be a warning and that you need to rest for a while? Use this time in the valley to lie down on the grass between sweet scented flowers, next to the stream of living waters underneath enormous acorn trees. Pull your core values of authenticity, hope, joy and love closer so you can get up and finish the rest of your journey. Refresh your soul, renew your mind and be in the moment.
My challenge to you
If you do find yourself in a fort, you may cling to anger and pain as if it is your best friend. That's normal. It's what you know. So often we are afraid of the unknown, but sooner rather than later you will be able to stretch your wings and fly.
The first step in breaking down your fort from the inside out is to forgive. It sounds like a cliché, I know. Those three words seem insignificant, but it’s so hard at the same time. I also struggle with it from time to time, but the people we hurt aren't the ones we don’t forgive, but those we love the most.
Forgiveness is the key to free your soul from your own prison.
Forgiveness takes courage you have deep inside of you and when you forgive (even if you don’t want to), you become liberated from the shackles that kept you prisoner. Forgiveness doesn't just happen one time and that's it though. It's a continuous and intentional journey of forgiving those who wronged you every time you are sparked. At first you may need to forgive every day, but as time passes, you’ll need to forgive less and less as you make peace and move on.
We are meant to live our truest selves and to relate authentically. We don’t always have the answers as to why certain things happen, but they can serve a purpose, a meaning if you will.
Diamonds are formed under pressure, but for transformation to occur, you'll feel discomfort through challenges and struggles.
Share the light inside of you
On her blog, Nightbirde mentioned that on the morning she got divorced, her dad met her outside the courtroom and gave her a hug as he said: “You’re happy, you just don’t know it yet.”
It’s up to you to take on this quest to grow into your gifts of growth, hope, inner joy, love and perseverance.
Share the light inside of you and the light you shine will become a beacon for others to see the way.
If this article blessed you, please pay it forward and share it with someone else you believe it may bless as well. Together we may be the change we want to see in this world.
Email me at linda@journeywithpassion.co.za if this article helped you in any way. I’d love to hear about it.
Such a beautiful share. Thank you for this article.