Are you centred?

Have you ever felt that overwhelming sense of anxiety, so much so you'll lash out at the next available person closest to you and you have no idea why?

Have you ever felt that overwhelming sense of anxiety, so much so you'll lash out at the next available person closest to you and you have no idea why? For me, this pattern repeated itself until I realised it was an event that came from a choking incident when I was just 1 year old. Now that I know this, I am more aware what my triggers are so I can reflect and ground myself to regulate my emotions better.

In figure skating you learn quickly that if you lean too much to the front or to the back you'll fall. In life just as in figure skating when we lean too much into the future or the past, things can become a little wobbly to say the least.

When we dwell on past events, whether good or bad, we may quickly begin to ponder on things such as:

• a traumatic event;

• what we had and no longer have (e.g. the old normal);

• what we could have had (e.g. a promotion);

• what we should have had (e.g. privilege).

When we dwell on the future and more specifically focus on things we don't have (yet), we can become quite anxious and fearful very quickly.

There is a quote going around on social media:

First, I was dying to finish high school and start college. And then I was dying to finish college and start working. And then I was dying to marry and have children. And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough for school so I could return to work. And then I was dying to retire. And now, I am dying... and suddenly I realize I forgot to live.

-Anonymous

What if things didn't work out to make room for a better future? What of things are just falling into place? What if you, by holding onto your past or future desires, you lose your present and future?

When you lose your balance on the ice you sometimes have very awkward sudden and spastic manoeuvres which can range from forward, backwards, and sideways with a few twists in between. (The best is just to relax. It sounds crazy, right? Who can relax on the ice while they're busy falling? But it works. You may still fall, but you won't hurt as much as you would have.)

When we lose our balance in life, things may also feel unmanageable at times. During these moments of instability, we may make unwise decisions or take actions which doesn't serve us, nor those around us. A wounded soul may carry various symptoms such as being critical, self-destructive, judgemental, negative and concern about the future. This is a hard place to be. If this sounds familiar to you or someone you know, please share Stretch your wings and Find your balance in stressful times articles with them.

Let's take a look at a few reflective questions to find out how present your past is. Try to think of an event where your and others' behaviour seems to repeat itself. Then answer these questions:

1. What is your earliest childhood memory?

2. What was your impression of yourself in this memory?

3. What was your impression of others in this memory?

4. How has this memory impacted your personal development and actions.

5. How has this experience impacted how you relate to yourself today?

6. How has this experience impacted the way you relate to others today?

This reflective exercise opened my eyes to a few patterns of my own behaviour and it continuous to do so for me. I hope it will help you too to determine patterns of behaviour in your life.

In the series FBI, OA mentioned how the rear mirror in a car is smaller than the windscreen with a reason. What happened in the past is so much less important than the future that's ahead of you. Learn the lesson and move on. Determine your boundaries and respect your values. Let the future not consume all our energy and thoughts, but dream dreams and make plans, but be present. Find your centre and enjoy the moments you have right now.

What do you have right now that brings joy to your soul and makes you smile?

Past moments ran through our fingers like sand. The future is still a cloud yet to be formed. What we have, is the present.

How can you add colour and value to your life’s painting today?

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If you have any questions or would like to share your experience in this regard with me, feel free to email me at linda@journeywithpassion.co.za.

Photo credit: Pavel Danilyuk